So sleepy. And cranky. And tired. And did I mention cranky?

Apparently sometime during the day yesterday someone ran an electrical current through the springs on Jacob's crib mattress. Or maybe they replaced his socks with popsicles. Or perhaps they released a herd of frantic weasels into his diaper when I wasn't looking?

I don't know.

What I do know is, every time I have tried to lie him down in the past 24 hours, he screams like nobody's business. I pick him up, he stops instantly. Put him down, immediate misery. Occasionally he would give in and sleep out of sheer exhaustion, and I would have precisely enough time to stagger into my room, lie down, and pull my nice warm covers up to my ears, when, "WAAAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhh..." Mutter, mutter, mutter, glare at sleeping husband, go snuggle baby again. A few times I had to just let him cry while I took a break... I'd go sit on the edge of my bed and hold my head (to keep it from simply rolling away - not that I really need it, I just don't want to have one more thing to pick up in the morning), and after about 23 seconds my husband would grunt, "Aren't you going to get the baby?" Grr, bite me, you sleeping pile of husband, you - "Yeah, I'll get him, I just need a break, go back to sleep."

Lest you think I'm a true queen among wives, let me just say that we have an agreement, Monday and Wednesday nights I get Jacob no matter how many times he wakes up, because on Tuesdays and Thursdays Willem teaches high school from 7-3 and then teaches college from 4-8. I have no problem gently nudging him directly onto the floor on some nights, but he needs the sleep these nights, I'm home with the kids these days...

Oh, I need my sleep. If any of you have seen it, please loft it back my way, okay? I can blame the patches of drool all over me on the baby, but it's embarrassing when someone asks me a simple question (like, "How are you?") and my response is, "Um."

There he goes again. Got a whole 10 minutes of nap this time. Ugh. Okay, if you can't find my sleep but you DO happen to have an extra ticket to the Bahamas, I'll take that, too. One-way is fine.