We went out today and got a new, non-purple but still glow-in-the-dark, Care Bear to replace the eternally tainted Grandma-condemned bear from the weekend. Emily is thrilled. She would have been thrilled with two purple Care Bears, but Grandma rained too much negativity down upon her 5-year-old parade, so we are left with one purple and one orange.

To clarify, no, the %$#&%$#*%^#$(%P#^%$4#@$#$^$%^*#%^^% part was not from my mother-in-law, that was all in my head. I have remarkably few chances to swear in my life these days... can't do it in front of the kids, they'll repeat it (and if I don't swear in front of them, then when one of them DOES, I know precisely which husband to blame it on)... can't do it in front of my clients, I'll scar them for life and many of them are already pretty scarred... can't do it in front of my classmates, they get all judgmental and offended... can't do it online for real because I want to be deliberate when I choose to offend someone, don't want to accidentally do it (that's a JOKE, ha ha ha ha)... so instead I swear in my head, and hit the shift key with the number keys, and tell myself that's almost like being a real grown-up.

Remember when you were a kid and you thought grown-ups could do and say whatever they wanted? HAH!

Anyway, back to the rest of my life... I'm going to pretend I don't have a mother-in-law for a few days, at least until I stop bleeding from the ears every time I think about her.