It's been ages and ages since I checked in... I know... I'm sorry. I spent a week in March lying on my bathroom floor - not for fun, oddly enough, but with a delightful case of gastroenteritis (stomach bug). And really, is there any other kind BUT delightful? It was yucky, and it's never a good sign when you find yourself grateful that your assorted family members seem to have a constitutional incapability to pick their towels up off the bathroom floor, because it might look messy but it's so much softer than the tile.

The following week, my sisters came to visit us. They are 14 and 18, and instead of going to the ocean and into Boston and out to dinner, they apparently thought I'd had the right idea the week before, because they instead developed their own fun little stomach bugs and built their own nests on the bathroom floor. Though, the wimps, they opted for the 24-hour version instead of my patented 7-day experience - kids these days, ya know?

They did get better by the end of the week, so we took a trip to this combination zoo/museum down in Mass., which was fun. There was a big exhibit on turtles, which apparently look absolutely delicious to Jacob. We also spent a while with Everyone's Favorite Rodent, at Chuck E. "Stimulation Overload" Cheese, always a fantastic experience. I discovered that being there at 4:00 on a Thursday afternoon is a markedly different phenomenon than the Friday night one - I only had to bang my head on the concrete in the parking lot for 15-20 minutes before my ears stopped ringing.

Last weekend was my husband's fraternity alumni reunion weekend - and I always jump at the chance to watch my beloved life partner indulge in overconsumption of alcohol, display irritating apparently-not-extinct college mannerisms, and emit strange noises and smells after he finally stumbles into the hotel room. Don't we all?? But this weekend actually ended up being a lot of fun, because Jessi met me at the hotel and we plunked all our assorted children down in the pool for hours and hours while we (are you ready for this?!?) engaged in adult conversation. A revolutionary idea, I know - it was fantastic. We even got to have uninterrupted conversation in the evening, after the kids were asleep. I have to do that again someday!

It was Jacob's first visit to a pool - he thought it was a pretty bizarre concept, all of these people taking a lukewarm bath together. He ended up paying the price for skipping his morning nap by falling asleep in the pool, silly boy. He also had his first experience with a cute little topless redhead in a hot tub - I told him it was okay for now, but if he does it in 20 years I don't want to hear about it. (And, if it happens in 20 years, it would be weird, inappropriate, and likely illegal if his mother was there with him.)

And speaking of separation anxiety (I know, I wasn't, but I'm tired, so humor me, okay?), Jacob ran full-tilt into that lovely habit as of Tuesday. My leash has suddenly gotten very, very short - if I look as though I might be considering the concept of leaving the room, he starts to whine, and if I actually have the audacity to walk out of the room without him he sustains a loud yell for the entire time I'm gone. I don't actually think he breathes while he does it. It's kind of impressive, in a for-the-love-of-God-I-just-want-to-pee sort of way. He's also teething and not particularly happy about it, and doing his best to make sure none of the rest of us are happy about it either, but in theory that's at least a finite experience.

On a final note, I was so proud of my daughter last night. She'll be 5 next weekend (OH MY GOD!) and last night I was trying to get the house ready for another showing today (still no offers, by the way - anyone want a perfectly nice ranch-style??) and I asked her to play with Jacob before he found that whiny note that would crack the window panes. So she ran and got her blocks, and was building towers for him. He would, of course, immediately knock them down, because babies are chaos-loving critters. I asked her, "Does that bother you, that he knocks your towers down?" And she said, "No, of course not. That's his job. I build the towers, he knocks them down!" It was a sweet moment, I was just so proud of how well she accepted his babyness.

Okay, have to get some stuff done before class tomorrow. I have FIVE WEEKS OF CLASSES LEFT in my doctorate, but who's counting?? Expect to hear more from me later in the week... my reference in the title to the "Jaws" theme has to do with the one thing that would make my life just as maximally annoying as possble... my mother-in-law has returned from Florida and is planning to come out on Thursday for the weekend, for Emily's birthday. Cue the cello music...