The inner brat in me can't help but think, "Nuh-uh! They just can't stop smiling, but that's just the exterior. They're still miserable inside."

Anyway.

Emily is still in the throes of Post-Traumatic Grandma Disorder, culminating last night in an enormous screaming kicking wailing miserable tantrum, which required me to sit on my bed with her in a bear hug to keep her from hurting herself or anyone else. Just one enormous pile of angst. I am so excited for her teenage years.

Jacob, the wee beast, apparently finds the sounds of Emily screeching to be a soothing and relaxing thing, because he went to bed and to sleep without the tiniest peep of protest in the midst of the Sturm und Drang. But in general, he seems to have shaken off the PTGD faster than Emily.

I'm honestly not sure what it is about my mother-in-law that creates several days of Body-Snatched behavior in my kids. I was there the whole weekend, I didn't witness any egregious behaviors or lapses or whatever. I really think my mother-in-law is some sort of insidious form of biological warfare, you don't realize it's happening in the moment but you feel the effects hours or days later. I'm ever so excited about our return trip to Rochester next month for Mike and Jen's wedding.

This is assuming, of course, that we can afford to make the trip. Between Emily's dance lessons and the wedding, our bank account is whimpering and cringing.

First, the dance lessons. She wanted to learn dance, so I called around the area and chose based on convenience and price, because we didn't know anything about reputations and didn't even know who to ask. Our neighbors are all in their 50s-plus, and if they get dressed up in tutus and leotards, I just don't want to know about it. So this place was really picked by default. $36 a month, Saturday morning lessons, good enough. Now at the end of the year they're killing me with add-ons... $57 for a costume that she will wear for a grand total of 27 minutes, and that includes the drive to the high school where the concert will be held. $22 for a t-shirt which she has to purchase if she wants to be allowed to dance in the finale with the rest of the school. $18 for a "recital fee," so I literally have to pay for my own kid to perform - "But you get a free recital ticket with that!" No I don't. I paid $18. That's not free. - and then any extra tickets are $18 each. Eighteen dollars to watch a 6-year-old stand on a stage and pick her nose. Fantastic. And then last week there was a $4.50 prop fee, so that she can dance in the introductory number, too. Unbelievable. If they had just charged me $50 a month at the beginning of the year I wouldn't be bleeding from the ears like this now.

Then, the wedding. Everyone in my immediate family except me is in it - Emily's a flower girl, Jacob's a ring bearer, Willem's a bridesmaid.... oh, no, wait. He's a groomsman. That's different. Anyway, so there's expenses for each of those things, plus the trip out for the bachelor party and then again for the wedding. None of which I mind in and of itself, I just wish I'd budgeted better. Somehow it's surprising to me that these things need to be paid for... I'm not sure why, I guess reality and I just haven't been communicating much lately.

So, my wallet is slim and shivery. Ah, well. It'll cope.

On the up-side, it's looking fairly likely that I'll have a job within a week or so. Which is a shaky and not-very-elevated up-side, but it'll fatten the wallet. I'm not ready to post details yet - I'm tired of posting my applications and hopes and then following up with "never mind, woe is me..." so I'm skipping the hopeful part and waiting until I actually have news - but at the very least I should know for sure soon.