Monday, June 05, 2006
Proof that "normal" doesn't exist
This is really bizarre. I mean, really. Like, Loch Ness Monster meets Bigfoot and they have a tea party with Jimmy Hoffa weird. At least to me.

Willem has the month off, having completed the spring semester and not teaching during the first summer session. (That's not the weird part.)

So he has some free time, and has been tackling a bunch of different household projects, including but not limited to finishing raking and bagging the leaves that had the audacity to fall after the town's scheduled yard waste pickup days, tying one end of a rope around a stump in the front lawn and the other end of the Jeep and creating a lot of smoke and bad words but not actually moving an inch, dealing with all of the laundry and dishes because I was so kind as to delay my back injury until after his final exams, and so on. (That's not weird either. It might be for some husbands - apparently I have done a very strange thing and married a contributing member of society, or at least the household; too many other people I hear about have husbands who only vaguely know where the sink is and coudn't run the dryer if their life depended on it.)

And today's project was to rip the gutters off the back of the house and then climb up on the roof to clean stuff out and rake out the piles of pine needles and generally spaz the kids out by climbing up on the roof. (That's not the weird part either. Though I can, in 100% pure virginal honesty swear that I would never have thought to do such a thing in a million years.)

So he was up there, poking around, and he called down to me to say, "Hey, can you hand me the camera? There's something up here, I want you to see it." So up went the camera, and down came this video.

THAT. THAT is the weird part.

Is that... yes, I think it is... it sure looks like... yeah... there's a dead lizard on my roof.

Now, let's pause and reflect for a moment, shall we? I live in New Hampshire. As in New "No Big Lizards Here" Hampshire. No woods nearby, so we aren't even overrun by salamanders or mud puppies. It's not warm enough to allow lizards or bugs to grow that big. So, okay, then, it's a pet. I can understand that, I had an iguana through college, it was fun and quirky and low-maintenance. But no one noticed it was missing? How long do we suppose it's been up there? Is there a whole colony of unusually large lizards roaming the neighborhood at night? Would it be better to refer to them as Lizards Of Unusual Size, LOUS's, in a nod to The Princess Bride? Should I be checking other people's roofs for unusual wildlife? What wildlife have I not noticed in past homes?

Some deep and unanswerable questions. And I'm left with the undeniable fact that there is a froggin' lizard on my roof.