Tuesday, March 20, 2007
The Ides of March, 5 Days Late
I think it's something to do with the stupid new daylight savings time, because it took a while for the true terror which is the month of March 2007 to catch up with me. But, ugh.

First of all, I discovered that the amazing, seriously wonderful, touch-yourself good (they really are!) Snickers Easter Egg candy has been discontinued. DISCONTINUED. Oh, there are just not words. I have gone to so many stores, in hopes that someone is willing to stock their shelves with last year's old, stale candy, just to redeem my Easter season... but, so far, no. No. I am woeful.

Next, I don't know who you are, you person in the silver Mazda pickup with the snotty grin and Massachusetts license plates, but, yes. You win. Your iPod-to-stereo converter thing is stronger than mine. So, you know what? GET OFF MY BUMPER. I wanted to listen to my music this morning, not your boring Podcast. And it wasn't like a quick passing interference; we were stuck waiting for a godforsaken train to drag by. Endlessly. And every time I crept up that bare inch to get myself out of your converter's reception, you crept even closer. You have no idea how close I came to slamming it into reverse and flooring it. Creep.

Third, I don't know what it is with women and their reproductive systems, but you're all having a rough time this month. I get that. I'm sorry. Please be gentler with yourselves, because meeting with me in the emergency room following a suicide attempt is not the best way to get out and make a change.

Fourth, I got about 5,000 words into a novel - writing, not reading, because God forbid I read something new - and realized it was (a) too autobiographical and (b) not as fun to write as I'd hoped. Maybe I need to write nonfiction. Or just not bother. Argh.

Fifth, ENOUGH with the weather. Seriously. When I figure out where to lodge my complaint, you'd better believe I'm going to lodge it really far up there.

And the thing is, it really wasn't a bad day. I got to do some decent work at work today, instead of the frequent chair-riding of many cold winter days, and I got some time at home in the middle of the day. My husband made almost-Snickers-quality banana bread, and I was able to page through a few years' of classmates.com entries without needing a suicide risk assessment myself.

But still. Let's get it together, March, okay? We don't need a total waste of a month.