Thursday, April 26, 2007
I'm a smidge better today, I think. Not quite up to the strenuous tasks of walking across the room without stopping to catch my breath, or talking on the telephone, but so far today I've kept down about 8 oz. of water and 1/3 of a scrambled egg, so I'm counting that as a victory.

I'm also well enough to be a little more aware of the world around me. Yesterday I was as withdrawn and self-focused as one can be without actively stepping on small children and pets, paying attention to my various miseries with essentially no thoughts for others. I don't even think I complained out loud about how crappy I was feeling, because I didn't really care whether my gripes had an audience.

But today, I've got my head above water (i.e., out of the toilet bowl) and am a little more in touch with my surroundings. Enough to realize that I have an awful lot to be grateful for.

The big, glaring obvious one is, of course, my husband. Aside from the tiniest of all tiny freakouts yesterday morning when he had to simultaneously dress, feed and prepare both children for daycare while steering me (and my ever-present garbage can) toward the minivan, he has been a paragon of husbandhood. Pacing nervously in the hallway while I have a 1:00 a.m., um, incident. Cleaning the kitchen to the point where it doesn't look like a grown man and two small children have had the run of the place for the past several days. Bringing Emily along with him to class so that I can nap during Jacob's nap and then nap after he wakes up, too. Completely abandoning his homework and some class time. And - and this is a big one - never once complaining. He's done amazingly well, and I'm not above a little gloating. It's just good to know I chose well, spousewise.

(Although, hmmm.... the conspiracy center of my brain suddenly wonders whether he wanted me to get sick this week, because now I should be all healthy again in time for our trip to Potsdam and it's hard to complain about going up there when he's done such a great job this week. Hmmm...)

So, there's that. Then there's my work. It has its moments of crazymaking and inanity, but they all - my boss and coworkers, have been very understanding and supportive all this week, with nary a mention of the fact that I'm scheduled to take 6 days off in May. The ED doctor yesterday wrote me a note to get out of three days of work, and it's kind of nice to not even need it - to be trusted enough that they'd never ask for such a thing.

There's been a wonderful support network of friends, online and off. None of you are sadistic enough to try and visit or call, which I appreciate greatly, but the emails and messages and comments I've gotten have been lovely. I hope I'm feeling better soon, too.

And, of course, my kids. Until I was ill - contagiously so - I sort of took for granted how openly affectionate they are. It's been very, very hard this week, having to tell them, "No, I'm sorry, I can't snuggle right now, I'm still sick." They both have taken it well, but both of them makes a beeline at the slightest signal that I'm able to have physical contact. Last night, I was home alone with Jacob for a few hours, and he was playing alone, happily, when I asked, "Do you want to come sit with Mama?" He scampered over and snuggled into my side tightly enough that he could have passed as an extra body part. They've both just been very mellow about it all, and I'm grateful.

So, my throat still hurts far more than is reasonable, and my ears itch and sting, and I haven't been able to sleep through the night without a mad dash to the bathroom to call up Ralph on the big white telephone... but my life is still pretty good.