At work this morning, I spent several minutes in the kitchen preparing a fruit salad because Perfect J likes us to celebrate people's birthdays whether they want them celebrated or not. Sanctimonious P's birthday was last week, so bring on the snacks. Fine, whatever, I'll be a good soldier and hack up a pineapple. I discovered that it does good things to my morale, bringing a sharp knife to staff meeting. I may start a new habit, whether I'm making a fruit salad or not.

While I was there, I was accosted by Lame C, one of the front-office staff. She's not quite a receptionist, and I just hope that she knows what her job is, because I certainly don't care know. She had 10 uninterrupted minutes to talk at me, while I decimated strawberries.

The unique thing about Lame C is that she is one of the most Boring people you'll ever meet in your life. This woman is a serious, studied Borer. I believe she has a master's in Boring, if not a Ph.D. Rumor has it that she spends her summers in Europe, Boring there, so that she can maintain her amateur Boring status for the 2008 Beijing Olympic trials. ESPN has done one of their little SportsCenter blurbs on her ability to Bore people for miles around, all while juggling the demands of a full-time Boring job and a household full of Boring children. It's a family tradition, really; her father was a weekend Borer with the local youth league, and her grandfather Bored professionally out of New York. There is talk of creating a new ESPY category for her, accompanied by a special gold-plated awl to represent her achievements in Boring.

Once I revived from my Boredom-induced coma, I went on with my day. Everything just seems so much more interesting now, in comparison.