I was also remiss in reporting my mother-in-law's tantrums for the weekend... I missed one. At dinner on Saturday night, out with a big crowd at a busy restaurant, we were all eating and most of us were even enjoying ourselves. Willem had ordered a Caesar salad, no dressing, and when I asked him how it was, he said, "Ehh, it's okay. It's a salad."

His mother immediately pounced on this, saying, "Well, why order it if you don't like it?"

He said, "Oh, I don't dislike it. I just don't love salads in general. But this is okay."

She spent the next several minutes spouting off a litany of salad dressings and alternative salad-toppings, trying to convince Willem that if he just found the right combination of oil and vinegar he would love salads, enjoy his life more, and come into sudden and unexpected wealth. Or something - most of us, or at least I, had tuned her out by then.

Willem finally stopped her and said, "Look, I ordered what I wanted, this is fine. I don't want dressing."

She persisted. "But WHY would you order a salad? Why not order something you really like?"

"Because I've eaten nothing but junk food and beer for the past two days, I wanted something healthy."

"But -- "

"MOM. Are you really going to keep poking at me for ordering a salad?"

She never really subsided with it - we just all left the restaurant to get dessert at Cold Stone Creamery, and then she got mad at us because we let Jacob run around and play (*gasp*) within 10 feet of the parking lot. Neglectful and negligent, I tell you. I'm really just a horrible person.