Do you ever feel like one of these days, you're going to crack one too many bright-and-cheery smiles, pronounce one too many enthusiastic reviews of artwork that is clearly mediocre at best, gaze benignly one too many times while your child takes 27 minutes to tell a story which could have been summed up in seven words or less ("Josh snarfed his milk out his nose. It was funny."), and suddenly, with very little warning, your head is going to simply split in two and fall on the floor, at which point a stream of platitudes and cheerleading and "use your words"es and "how do you ask nicely?"s and lullabies and peek-a-boos will all come pouring out and stain your carpet?

Which won't really matter all that much anyway, since it will just blend with the other gazillion stains and scuffs and clutter which have taken over your home.