I have a really stupid embarrassing injury.

During the week, my laptop lives on the kitchen table so that I can work or play or whine as needed, and yet still keep half an eye on my short destructive housemates. So last night, I was ready for bed, got up from the computer, and somehow got my foot caught on the next chair on my way out. I stumbled, almost caught, and then with a grace and style that might have either got me into Julliard or on America's Funniest Home Videos, landed much in the manner of a cliff-diving bison being pursued by vicious hunters. I came down on my hands and knees, and just sat there on the kitchen floor for a minute, calling myself names and berating myself.

Then I got up, and my left hip - which I did not land on and didn't even realize was involved in this whole adventure any more than the rest of my parts - screamed profanities at me. Apparently I tore the muscle right at the hip joint, which, if you're considering it, I wouldn't suggest. It hurts. A lot.

This was late when it happened, 1:00ish, so I didn't dare take any sort of muscle relaxant or similar, because I've found that sedatives can beat my brain in a fight any day of the week. May Cause Drowsiness means Will Knock Kate Unconscious in an Hour and She Won't Function Until it Wears Off. Popped a couple of ibuprofen and slept flat on my back because apparently now my hip is the Supreme Dictator of All Things Physical, and the rest of the parts don't even get a token say in things like walking speed or sleeping position.

Fantastic.

You want to know the true irony in all of this? Yesterday, I joined the Y. I think this may be a message from God telling me that overweight is the new upcoming trend.