There are certain things in life for which no compromise is possible. They are black and white, carved in stone, unchangeable. They're the sorts of things that can break apart a friendship, create lifelong strain, keep you awake at night. It is possible to maintain a relationship from opposite sides, of course, but it requires real care and effort, and of course never, never allowing the taboo topics to go too far.

One of these things is, of course, pumpkin seeds. After the annual Great Pumpkin Massacre, should the seeds just be thrown out, or saved for snacking? And if they are saved (Can I get an "Amen"?), should they be washed before toasting, or left with some accompanying goop? Salt or no salt?

They're crucial, basic, simple questions. Happily, my husband is aligned with me on the proper care and maintenance of pumpkin seeds. Forget communication and equity in household responsibilities - this is the true foundation of a successful marriage.

At the risk of exposing myself to shock and chagrin, we toast and salt them.

And never, never wash them. The very thought makes my heart sink.